LIVING WITH PAIN CAN—OVERTIME--- DULL THE HURT TO THE POINT WHERE---YOU EVENTUALLY ACCEPT IT AND—SIMPLY-- LIVE WITH IT. IN ELEVEN YEARS--- I'VE MOVED SO-FAR BEYOND THE PAIN-----IT
During my lifetime, I’ve experienced the human suffering of others. I've cared for disabled orphans in China, volunteered to feed very-old
street people in Atlanta, taught mentally disturbed youth in the DC Jail, tutored six year old sex offenders, and--until recently-- taught children with severe disabilities.
WAS ONLY WHEN MY TWO DAUGHTERS--children I carried in my body—THEN-- in my heart--chose to abandon me--- that I understood the meaning of the phrase “A lifetime of Loss.” My loss is permanent. Yes, I have become close,
intimate friends with--- loss.
There are various kinds of pain but, over-time, I’ve learned about personal pain---pain that involves the most sensitive
parts of the heart. Personal Pain can’t be treated with medicine-- or bed rest-- or emotional/physical therapy. Time may lessen the pain but its after-effects never go away. Since my life’s been stored in boxes for so many years-- due
to endless moves and re-locations—it’s no coincidence that an empty box led to my salvation.
Years ago, while living in Atlanta, I took classes in Visualization.
I learned the mind has amazing powers, undeveloped potential, and can serve us in ways that medicines, drugs, and psychiatry, are unable to do. Time passed and, eventually, I re-visited the art of Visualization. Some call it “mind over matter”
but--regardless of what you chose to call it-- I’m satisfied with the results.
Very simply: I picture myself/ visualize myself ( in color), lifting
all the pieces of my heavy and painful loss---including--long-ago pictures, memories, letters, spoken words, clippings, items of clothing, smiles, tears ----- and place them into a large and empty white box. I tuck clean white tissue paper around and
on-top of all the items before securing the box with clear, heavy tape.
Finally, I choose a permanent red marker to draw a large red heart on the box before writing
a message inside the heart:
OWNER’S INSTRUCTIONS: PLEASE DO NOT OPEN OR SHARE UNTIL AFTER MY DEATH.