When I was younger-- I never read obituaries. Death was too final; I dreaded the very-idea of Death but-- these days--I have a new attitude.
I no-longer fear the end of life.
Growing-Up has changed my thinking about many things, including dying. Now, every day, I read obituaries. They keep me connected and up to
date with familiar names, long-ago friends, and-- on several occasions-- some unforgettable boyfriends.
But...reading obituaries these days, makes me " instantly
irritated. " Most obituaries are written using a one-size-fits-all style! I've yet to read anything uniquely-warm, or personal, or endearing; nothing I read makes me believe the person who died was an interesting individual or a wonderful
person with a remarkable life.
Occasionally, I feel a tinge of emotion when I read about a person who left a favorite pet....or an obituary that personalizes the
deceased by using a treasured quote but--over all-- most obituaries sound impersonal and repetitous--- like the closing of another K-Mart.
Oh!...and how I despise reading the
words "He/She was reared" in such and such town..."!!!!That disgusting phrase makes me think a car was rear-ended in an accident! Thank You But....."I was raised-- I grew-up-- I enjoyed--and I spent all-- or most-- of my life...." DON'T
WRITE ABOUT ME BEING "REARED"!
More and more disenchanted with the way Obituaries are written, I decided to write my own obituary. I wrote about myself in a brief, but
I tell "my side" of me in such a way that anyone reading the announcement of my death, will know me as an individual. I write in a conversational
style, using my obituary as "my way" of saying good-bye.
And, I suggest you do the same. After all-- we write wills that detail who-gets-what so why not write--in detail--what we
hope the world will remember about us? Why would I let some stranger write: "She had no immediate family" when I have the most-wonderful four-legged family who consistently fill my life with endless love?!?!?
Or, why would someone list my degrees or titles when that's not at-all what I want people to remember about me?!?!?
We are all wonderfully-different. When we
die, our obituaries shouldn't read like a rubber stamp-version of the person in the next casket. The only way we can guarantee our obits are personalized-- show our individuality--is to write them ourselves and keep them updated.
No One---not a family member, nursing home aide, or funeral home secretary---should write our obituaries. Who knows us better than we know ourselves?
The day we were born---we were considered unique, different, and truly one-of-a-kind. When we die....we deserve to be remembered as the same unique, one-of-a-kind- individual who lived, breathed, and loved life.
And when we die, the world should honor us--our way; treat our "living" with all the love and respect we rightfully-deserved in "dying".
Funeral Homes, Newspapers, Churches, Online Media: STOP acknowledging our deaths with a few cold, impersonal words from a "fill in the blanks" obituary form.
"Til Death Do Us Part."
PS...I encourage you to write your obituary soon; there's really nothing
to it, but...if you want help, send me an email at: email@example.com.